Good Friday baking fever!

Not quite sure what happened yesterday but it would seem that Easter chocolate baking madness descended upon me.... Not content with making one thing I decided to make three....and this from a woman who hardly has any previous history with baking.  The funny thing is that every time I do, bake, I come way from the experience vowing to do it more often as I'd enjoyed myself.  Much like when I make bread there is something incredibly enjoyable about turning doughy mush into something utterly delicious.

Now to be totally transparent two out of the three things have turned out to be exactly that, delicious. Delish Brownies and Candy wood bark.

The third however, utter disaster.  

There's a little Portuguese place near to where I live that turns out the most delicious custard tarts, Pasteis de nata, and a few days ago I had the idea of trying to recreate them without using a recipie.  I mean how hard can it be. Right? Custard, tick, pastry, tick... Wrong wrong wrong....they say pride comes before a fall...and I crashed and burned baby... I bought a sainsbury's ready made  custard, what's good for Delia....and that was my first mistake, whilst busy patting myself on the back for coming up with a speedy solution I didn't bother to read the back of the carton.  If I had I would have seen that it contained sweetners.  Now I understand for some of you that might not be a problem, but I can taste artificial sweetner no matter how much its disguised, and I don't like it.  The second fail, was grabbing filo pastry and not puff.  You might think this is not such a problem, but the construction of filo is totally different to buttery puff pastry. Which has meant the offending article is still inhabiting my fridge waiting for the bird of inspiration to land and turn it into a filo delight as well as a return journey to the supermarket to buy the right pastry.  The idea being to return home and create these little bundles of cinnamon custard heaven.  

Oh if only.  I won't bore you with a step by step guide of my failing, suffice it to say the pastry cases ended up way too thick with the bottoms slightly undercooked and, well I've already raised my issues with the custard.  

Which now also leaves me with what do I do with 10 custard tarts when one of my children is dairy intolerant?  The bin may well be the final option but I'm off to see my folks today for Easter and am taking them with me to see what they think.  I will report back later.  Sorry no photo, didn't feel inspired enough.

Now onto the little bits of heavenly deliciousness.... Chocolate brownies and candy wood bark.  

The  brownies were inspired from  a blog I've been following recently The Londoner A mix of fashion lifestyle and foodie stuff.  The foodie stuff is the draw, and her fashion and lifestyle my occasional guilty pleasure.  They can't be easier.

Delish Brownies

Pre heat the oven to 160 fan, 180 no fan, gas mark 4

Take two boxes of ready made cookie dough and brownie mix.  

Make each one up in separate bowls, following packet instructions, (adding extra 1stp of water and oil to the cookie mix).  

Spread cookie mix into a baking paper lined baking tray. Make sure you spread it all out into the corners, I used my hands for this.  Messy but true.

Then lay two packets of Oreo biscuits on top of the mixture. 

Finally top off with the Brownie mix.

Into oven for 30 mins.

Out and leave to cool a bit but still whilst still warm lift out on to a chopping board. Use the baking paper to help lift it out.   

Slice into what ever size suits your need, serve and eat.  

Heavenly....

...and finally candy wood bark inspired from A beautiful Mess blog.  Two gorgeous ladies who are free with their reuse and thrifting ideas which I love as well as posting inventive foodie ideas.

This really can't be simpler.

Candy tree bark

Two bars of dark chocolate

One bar of white chocolate

Bag of gummy bears or midget gems

100's and 1000's if you have or I used Raspberry fruit flakes

1 small bag of salt and cracked black pepper crisps

Crushed up nuts, I used pistachios as I had some in the cupboard.

Melt dark chocolate and spread onto a sheet of baking paper layed on a plate or tray.

Crush up crips and nuts and scatter on top.

Melt white chocolate, I did this directly in the pan but really if you don't want a grainy texture and prefer super smooth, should be done in a bowl over boiling water in a pan.

Spread onto another sheet of paper.

Scatter gummy bears or midget gems, 100's and 1000's or fruit flakes.  I also added a little edible shiny glitter to glam it up a bit.

Put both sheets into the fridge or freezer to cool.

Remove and break into pieces.

Eat and Enjoy...

Happy Easter...x

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Snow baking and Easter

Now I know I'm probably going to incur the wrath of a few of you but I honestly love all this snow we keep having.  It gives me a great excuse for sitting by my fire in old woolly jumpers that have seen better days and shoving my feet into my old but fab slippers.  

It's also giving me fireside wanderlust...my current fireplace does the job but is, to put it bluntly, a hole knocked through a bricked up chimney.  It's rough around the edges and was really only ever meant to be a temporary solution to no fireplace at all.  My dream is to turn it into something more like this.

The only slight spanner to this day dreaming is funds....or coming across a spare oak beam possibly lying next to a dream abandoned wood burning stove casually left lying in or near my living room...needless to say for now, I'm still waiting....but watch the blog for updates on the fire...

The other thing all this snow and frosty weather seems to have done to me is kick start my baking genes.  In the past week I've made a lemon polenta cake, with additional desiccated coconut in it as I didn't have enough polenta and did I mention that it was freezing outside so shopping for extra ingredients just isn't happening?  I wasn't sure if it would work with the coconut, which was an interesting choice of make do ingredient as I don't particularly like desiccated coconut.  However it was blooming gorgeous and so large that there was enough to be divided up between some friends.  I would post a picture of it but sadly this all that's left of it.

And following on from that little success I then made a mind blowingly gorgeous Rhubarb and orange crumble, and I do really mean it was Delicious!! The recipe was taken from 'Bill's Cook Eat Smile' cookery book 

 

that I bought along with another one called 'Notes from a Swedish Kitchen'.  Both of these little gems were bought during a three hour browse, without my children, through the cookery book section of Waterstone's a few weeks ago.  Both have inspired me with their ideas for seasonal cookery and both are now firmly wedged on my worktop in the kitchen.  Sadly I hadn't the foresight to take any photos of the crumble so you will just have to recreate it for yourself.

Recipe from Bill Collison's cookbook  

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bills-Cookbook-Cook-Eat-Smile/dp/1444703900      

Bill's rhubarb crumble

Serves 4-6 (actually did 6)

900g rhubarb cut in 3cm lengths

200g caster sugar

the zest and juice of 1 large orange

1 tsp ground ginger

I then used a packet of ready made crumble mix and added crumbled ameretti biscuits into it for extra taste and crunch.

Pre heat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas mark 4 and lightly butter a 23 x 33cm ovenproof dish.

Stir the chopped rhubarb with the sugar, finely grated orange zest and ginger in a large bowl, and then spread it out on a baking tray.  Bake in the oven for 10mins or so until soft.

Place the rhubarb in an ovenproof dish, sprinkle with the orange juice, spoon the crumble mix on top to cover and return to oven for 45mins.  The top should be golden brown and the juices bubbling up round the edges of the crumble.

Enjoy x

Oh and for the more observant amongst you, YES, I have changed the layout.  I've been reading a few other bloggers and have felt a little inspired to change mine and generally make it more creative and interesting.  One of the things that I really loved was the use of photo's so I will aim to pop some in to each of my blogs and make more effort to take photo's as I'm cooking to inspire you.  I promise to post photo's of both successes and disasters.  I'm not yet done on the makeover but will need to research and read up on how to achieve the final look, so watch this space.  Oh and happy to receive any advice or comments, as usual. 

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Pumpkins and fireworks

So today has seen me sitting desperately trying to work my way through a college course book, whilst in reality spending more time looking at blog sites and trying to work out which ones I want to follow.  Ideling time away on other bloggers sites has at least inspired me back to my own.  Since writing my last post I've booked and cancelled a honeymoon, started working as a weekend negotiator at a local estate agents, and started university.  I've also celebrated my45th year on this planet with a trip back to the place of my last college days, Birmingham.  

My oh my how the old place has grown up from a once ugly grey duckling to a beautiful cosmopolitan fashion Mecca swan.  I hardly recognised the old place. Gone was the bull ring marketplace replaced instead with designer stores and trendy eateries.  It seems like a city hasn't really arrived these days unless it has a Jamie something or other cafe and a Selfridges.  The once slightly dodgy canal walks are now brimming with places to eat and drink, although I was saddened to see the old James Brindley pub all closed up and looking sadly forlorn amongst the new joints. An overnight stay at the Hotel du vin was comfortable enough and with dinner and breakfast thrown into the price of the room, it was a veritable steal.  Made even more so by the lovely generosity of two great friends who gave this treat to me as a birthday present.  I even had time to drag the husband down memory lane by walking up broad street over five ways roundabout or under it to be precise and onto church Rd and Chappies. Home for 3yrs for me and fondly remembered as The Birmingham School of Screech Training and Traumatic Farts.  A school that is now affiliated with Birimingham university and has visiting lecturers working in their field of expertise.  A far cry from our eclectic bunch of tutors, we even had our very own Mrs Overal with her tea trolley and tuck that would be wheeled in at break times.  I honestly kid you not.  Still they were halcyon days of a time long gone.

So from memory lane and Brum and onto Halloween and pumpkin soup.  I did make a batch of soup from the insides of the two pumpkins that the clan had carved up and I would have posted said recipie  with a small amount of smugness. However that old maxim of pride coming before a fall is oh so true.  It was all going tremendously well until I decided to add one of my home grown red chillies into the pot.  The aim was to just add a little something to the flavours.  To jush it up a little.  I didn't for one minute think that such a tiny thing would contain enough heat to make 5litrres of otherwise devine soup virtually inedible.  The reality only hitting home to me after serving it up for the children's tea and then watching my 2.5yr old taking one mouthful and and then grabbing his water and gulping it down whilst saying open mouthed guppy like "too spicy mommy..."  So, not a winning soup and definitely not a version I'll be repeating again.  It wasn't just the soup that was disappointing this Halloween.  Rain definitely ceased play this year. I'd bought enough sweets to feed the hungriest of local trick or treaters had the required carved and lit pumpkin in the window to show willing participation, my2.5 yr old was beside himself as a skeleton not really sure what was going on but hyped up enough on candy and the excitement of a knock on the door and the chance to squeal "trick or treat..." at people.  Yes I am aware that it's usually the children doing the knocking that have this script but my youngest wouldn't be told...and then only four children came knocking.  It was so sad that I had to go outside and knock on my own front door and then the back door for him to get his full Halloween fix.  I did however enjoy the candy along with a much needed glass of red wine, post his bedtime.

This stunning mediocre week of  American holiday mimicry came to a much needed end with some good old fashioned fireworks.  These were watched both from the comfort of some friends upstairs window that overlooks the local rugby ground and home to the annual fireworks display, for the first round of children's fireworks, and then lastly out on the front yard for the second adult show of ear splitting Harry Potter'esque squealers and howlers and stomach smashing sky spilling explosions of colour and sound.   Yes yes yes!, I love fireworks, so roll on the next holiday celebration and let's see if I can do better.

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a season of renewal and growth

It's been a fair while since my lost blog, spring 2011 turned into summer and saw a house move and a victorious outcome in my work tribunal.  Then summer sprawled into autumn and I turned 44 and my marriage went into free fall and my husband left the marital home and I started working again part time at a night shelter for 6 months.

Thus began a season of surviving in all senses.  Of going to work to forget about the anger, hurt, pain, upset of the state of my marriage.  Of trying not to cry at any and all moments of kindness.  Of keeping it together at all times so no one would know that really I was perilously close to loosing it.  Of above all things protecting my children from my inability to fix my marriage and make things better.  Through this season of frost and barren waste ground I clung to God.  Yes I know this might be dodgy ground for some of you but it's true.  In the absence of knowing how to fix things or what to do I simply clung on for all I was worth to the one thing I knew was constant, and to be fair to God, he clung onto me.  'Abide in me' became my personal task and since I didn't know what else to do, I abided, and I abided, and when I didn't know what else to do, I abided and kept on abiding until God told me to do something else, which eventually, he did.

April 2012 and my date with my abdominal surgery had arrived.  In order for my post pregnancy repair operation to be carried out I needed someone to be available to help me overnight when I came out of hospital and this was the moment that God decided to talk to me about forgiveness and restoration and obedience.  My husband had offered to help support me with the overnight assistance but I wasn't so sure that it was a good idea.  Things between us hadn't really improved any since our separation 7 months earlier and any attempts of conversation were usually strained, but God had other ideas and told me so in no uncertain terms that I was to let my husband step up and be my husband.  So I did, I surrendered my ideas of what should happen and allowed God to drive.  For those of you who have trouble believing in God I do hope you are still reading this because the story does have a happy uplifting feel good ending and I would hate for you to miss that because God is mentioned.

We are now in high summer and my husband has moved back in to our home, we are working on building new strong foundations for our marriage and are in the process of healing and restoring relationships across the children and wider family.  Out of an offer to help came opportunities to listen and moments to experience movement and change.  In September I start my second year of studying Contemporary counselling at the University of Hertfordshire and am excited to see where that will take me.  I'm currently looking for work but am trusting in the bounty and provision of my heavenly father in the knowledge that he's got my back and can turn all things to my good.  This wasn't the blog I set out to write but it seems to be the one I was meant to write so am posting this in the faith and heart in which it's intended.  Not to ram my faith down anyone's throat but to show that all things are possible.  Even those things that seem lost or broken beyond repair.  Hope should always be clung to with the belief that out of the current season can come a season of renewal and growth.  You might have to give up your own fixed ideas of what that will look like but believe that it can at least arise and you're one step closer to it.

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Embrace the chaos...

Arrgh it's March already where have the last two months gone? At least the sun has definitely been out and about in recent weeks, all be it weakly..giving me hope that spring must be just around the corner... though it's felt like quite a blooming long corner and news of news... We have CHICKENS! YES!! by slight default and thanks to my husbands parents needing to off load some hens that weren't settling in with the rest of their brood, we acquired...Henrietta and Gertrude. I realise they're not the most original names, but I wasn't feeling very inspired at the time of naming and what was meant to be temporary names till more original/quirky names could be found... seemed to have turned into, well their names...I do seem to have shortened them to Rudie and Rita, when I refer to them .and bless their little hearts they've pretty much turned out two eggs a day since their arrival....which has meant no egg buying at all since then..even with all 7 of the gang at home and pancakes being the pre-requisite breakfast for the kids on these weekends, they've managed to provide more than adequately for us....and they lay blue eggs...yes BLUE..how lush is that...ahh have to say am in chicken heaven, having yearned for a small cluck of them (realise the proper term is a flock of chickens but whose counting and prefer the word cluck for my gang) I've finally realised, a very small aspect, of my small holding dream..first the chickens next step house with land...then goat, ducks, geese, poly tunnels..

Note to the pic, this was the first stage for the hens, creating a pen.  They do also have a lovely hen house made for us by a friend from off cuts at no charge..Yeah!! Just don't have a photo of that right now..

Life wise, I have to say the start of this year has been challenging and at times a little too demanding of me. Work life has been de-stabilised with possible loss of work for my husband, which we will know more by the end of this week so all prayers gratefully received, especially Thursday when the big meet occurs...that said it has caused us both to re-consider if now is the time that we get going with 'our business' venture..and so we are busy fleshing out ideas and ways to start up... will post more as the beast gets flesh and bones...feeling like it's very true, as one door closes, another door opens.

January also saw my good friend and fellow foraging mum move up to Brum...which to be honest has been really hard.  Our tight little circle of three is now two and whilst my remaining forager friend is fabulous and just as inspiring, the removal of one of us seems to have left us both feeling a gaping whole.  Partly because her presence has been such a stablising and encouraging one and partly because despite having a whirlwind of  children, babies and dogs around her she manages to make it all seem just totally normal and no big deal, which in turn has encouraged me to be bolder and more prepared to take on the madness myself.  For which I thank her from the bottom of my heart, more madness of the like please...double portions of forthwith.

Finally I'll leave this post talking about my youngest who turned one a few weeks ago, and on the day of  his first birthday decided to crack the walking malarky.  I have a wonderful mental image of him, watching him stand up against the kitchen table holding a wooden jigsaw puzzle piece in each hand and one in his mouth, turning and then quite simply walking out of the kitchen, and away from the small gathering, as if he'd been doing it for weeks.. which has now turned into charging full pelt down our hallways, sliding full speed down our three flights of stairs, and shouting extremely loudly when something isn't given to him fast enough or is taken off him without his agreement.  Overnight my little baby has turned into a toddler with attitude and along with that a fantastic sense of humour.  Two days ago we were cleaning our teeth together when he decided that my toothbrush was much more interesting than his own.  I had been crouching down with him and was enthusiastically brushing my teeth to encourage his own efforts when he decided to grab my brush and pull..really really hard...in order to stop toothpaste and foam flying everywhere I clamped my teeth around the bristles, which in turn caused me to close my mouth and consequently breath through my mouth..all well and good you might be saying..and so it would have been had it not been for my charming little boy then leaning over and peering up at me with a very cheeky grin...whilst still pulling for England..and I suffering ever so slightly with a runny nose...I was undone...I just couldn't stop myself from laughing, resulting in bubbles of snot popping out from my nose, all of which he found extremely interesting, causing him to lean over even more and peer straight up my nose, resulting in me laughing even more strongly which caused even larger snot bubbles and so it continued for several moments, this odd tugg of war with my brush and oh so much laughter and snot...a fabulous moment of mess and chaos..even amongst some fairly major times of stress and change...a wonderful memory and one dedicated to V in Brum...thank you for the funniest chaos filled times we've had and for those we've not yet had...long may they continue.

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Take the red pill....

For those of you interested in a more global feel this is an article on a really cool eclectic website set up by a lovely friend of mine in Estonia.  Read, enjoy and pass on....long live the red pill option.. x

http://divedivedive.org/offgrid/offgrid-going-down-the-rabbit-hole

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When is enough, enough?

I've been reflecting over the past few weeks on things that are worthwhile fighting for.  It seems to me that in our ever increasing complex environment that we live in we are frequently demanded to leave our principles and our integrity at the door.  This is something that does not sit comfortably with me.  In my desire to move closer to nature so my desire to live an honourable life has increased.  Don't get me wrong, I frequently get it disastrously wrong.  In my home life, as a wife, a mother and a step mother, things are frequently not easy or straight forward.  However my guiding principle is always, what is the right thing to do in this situation.  Sometimes that question is asked in the moment but more often it is asked in hindsight once the events have unfolded, often with quite cataclysmic results. 

So, this month I have challenged my right to return to work with empathetic working rights, I've challenged a friend who has enjoyed the benefits of a car without honouring an agreement, and I've challenged the financial role of an absent parent.  It's been a busy month.  The work situation is trundling along an inevitable process, the car has been returned and the debt paid, which leaves the last and probably the most sensitive issue, still unfolding.

One thing I've learnt about myself is that my desire to make others happy has often meant that my own needs get left out of the picture.  For some reason this is no longer OK with me. Don't get me wrong I haven't suddenly become this battle happy vixen, more the waves of injustice have simply surfaced enough to give me momentum to get off my back side and do something about it. 

I wonder where life got so complicated?  In my parents time, life was relatively simple.  You got married and you put up with whatever life then threw at you.  Oh how times have changed.  We now demand our right to be heard, our right to be treated as an individual, our right to be taken seriously, and the list of demands gets ever longer.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against this , it's just I've started to realise that maybe the mix is off somehow.

Two weeks ago I learnt that a friend's husband had died, suddenly and without any warning.  A life taken at the tender age of 45. With so much potential still to fulfill.  My heart has struggled with this ever since my mum phoned me to tell me of the dreadful news.  Mostly for the gigantic hole this will have left in his partner's and children's lives.  But also within the wider community. This was a man who was well loved and admired amongst his peers.  He was without doubt one of the most positive people I have ever had the privilege to know.  His funeral is on Friday and I know without a shadow of doubt that it will be one of those events that is incredibly well attended.  I am not so sure that I could say the same about my own life. 

I have reflected since hearing the news, on how these things come to pass?  As a christian it is not easy to reconcile the death of a friend with the belief of a loving and forgiving father figure.  I do not understand why my friend had to have his life so prematurely shortened. But one thing I do know is that his leaving will have touched so many lives in ways I cannot begin to imagine. 

So I can't begin to talk about jam I have made or the latest foraging trip I've undertaken, as in recent weeks this has taken a back seat to life and all it's myriad of challenges.  However what I do know is this, it is defiantly worth finding the energy to push against what is unjust or unfair or just plain annoying.  Life has not been set up with a view to finding us in a perfect position all of the time, but it most definitely has put us in the driving seat of our own destinies.  So my challenge to all of  you is a simple one, in what areas of your life do you find yourself compromised?  Compromised beyond what is acceptable?  and what are you prepared to do about it? 

Also, a question...Are you prepared to engage with life beyond your own boundaries?  Are you prepared, in order to live life more fully, to step in when you experience things to be unjust or out of kilter?  how far would you go to help another?

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